


Coffee Wasn't That Good Anyway

by Manicies



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Joel Marricone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-16
Updated: 2017-04-16
Packaged: 2018-10-19 12:16:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10639674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Manicies/pseuds/Manicies
Summary: Because I want Joel Marricone to be a thing just like Matt the Radar Technician, have this lazy thing.





	

**  
  
**Joel was silent as he leant against the counter, sleek, shining metal arm glimmering slightly under the lights filling the room as the train ran along smoothly. His posture was relaxed, for the man was relaxed, silent as he waited for the Omnic manning the coffee station to spit out the caffeine he needed to survive the day from how little sleep he’d had the night before. Sighing, Joel ran his right hand, the one that was still actually attached to him, over his head, smoothing back some of the errant brown hairs, before tugging lightly at his short, spiky ponytail to make sure it was still sturdy and in place. **  
**

He grunted as the train carriage lurched slightly, and he frowned, thick brows lowering over brown eyes as he considered this. The train should’ve kept going as smooth as it ever did, wasn’t any friction on the rails to cause bumps like this.

Goddammit, the man couldn’t seem to go more than a week without something ridiculous happening to him, could he? He could justify the last article he wrote, about the robbery at the (beautiful) ramen place he’d been to, but surely people would notice if he wrote another one, with the same mysterious vigilante in it, that no one else seemed to see.

The Omnic seemed unphased as it continued to swiftly brew coffees, and Joel forced himself to stand upright, bracing his shiny, white metal hand on the counter as the train lurched again.

He raised a brow, glancing at the robot.

“You’re not even a little weirded out by this?”

“What is it I would be weirded out about, sir?” It said, in a pleasant, smooth, male sounding voice. Joel let out a scoff.

“By the fact that a frictionless train goin’ over 200 miles per hour keeps lurching like that?” The journalist snorted, unable to help the slightest drawl of his original accent slipping into his words.

“Not at all, sir. I’m only here to make coffee, not to worry about the functions of a train. Leave that to the engineers. I’m sure everything is alright.” The Omnic hummed, before going back to his business, the voice so soothing that it buzzed in Joel’s ears in a way that bothered him more than anything.

He just scoffed, and leant back against the counter, though he didn’t allow himself to relax like he had before. His case lay against the bench behind his calves, and he almost itched to hold it in his hands, if just for the sense of security it provided him. He wanted to feel like he could protect himself at any given moment, if need be.

The Omnic then dutifully gave him his coffee, and he barely got in a sip after murmuring out his thanks before the entire carriage lurched in what sounded like an explosion, the door ripping off of it’s hinges. The other people immediately screamed and began to cower, and the Omnic stopped what he was doing, staring blankly at the intruders as they barged in.

However, unlike his reaction previously, Joel continued to lean against the counter, blithely sipping at his coffee, causing the alarmingly heavily armed intruders to almost falter, before one of them stepped forward, m19 pulse rifle aimed at what could only assume was the side of his head.

“Get down on the ground, asshole!” The man barked from behind his appallingly cheesy balaclava, and Joel could almost laugh from the tone. This guy was armed like he was experienced, but clearly he wasn’t. Any crook worth his salt would knew what to do when faced with someone cocky like himself.

“Or what. You’ll shoot me?” The man scoffed nonchalantly, glancing down at his drink.

“C’mon. At least let a guy finish his caffeine before you start threatening him.”

The complete lack of interest he seemed to be showing just threw the criminals off even more, to the point where they didn’t even seem to react as he bent over and scooped up his case, setting it on the counter beside him and pressing the buttons to unlock it.

“Look. Buddy. I get that you’re just doing this for a living. Trust me, I know the feeling. But you’re also gonna wanna trust me when I say, do not fuck with me before I’ve finished my coffee.”

The threat seemed to do the opposite of what he wanted, the man with the gun gritting his teeth and raising the gun back up.

“Yeah, _buddy_ , let’s see if you’re so cocky with your brains spread out over the wall! Now get down on the _ground!”_

Joel just sighed, standing upright, and he set his coffee cup down as the other three men walked in, all guns raised and all aiming at him after a moment of hesitation.

“Last chance, buddy. Turn yourself in and maybe they’ll forgive you for damaging the train.” The man drawled, glancing around at them, his gaze turning sharper, more focused. However, the men with the guns just snickered.  
“Not likely.”

Joel shrugged, and this time he made no effort to hide the thick, southern drawl that he naturally spoke with.

“A’ight then. Don’t say I didn’t warn ya.”

To their confusion, he turned, opening the case, and before any of them could react, he spun, three gunshots ringing out from him, three of the men crumpling. The fourth man jumped back in shock, eyes wide as he looked around at his colleagues, each one with a neat bullet hole straight between the eyes, before he looked back at Joel. His eyes only managed to take in the sight of the gleaming gun held in the journalist’s hand, wait, that looks _like Peacekeeper did we just piss off Jesse Mc-Fucking-Cree-_

Before he crumpled as well, the other civilians in the carriage trembling in terror as blood splattered the walls.

Joel, Jesse, scoffed, twirling Peacekeeper skilfully, before he slotted it back in his case and snapped it shut. “Hey, y’all can stand back up. Ain’t anymore o’ them hangin’ ‘round these parts.”

It didn’t take long for the train to be pulled to a halt at the next station, police flooding the carriage to try and figure out what was happening. Sad that he wasn’t able to get another set of coffee, Joel slipped off of the train with his case and disappeared into the confused crowd at the train station.

**Author's Note:**

> [raspberry noises]
> 
> idk. Wanted this done with. Find me at Bastoren on tumblr pls, and feel free to comment.


End file.
